


R.E.M

by meladorema



Category: Draco Malfoy / Harry Potter - Fandom, Drarry - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Ron Weasley, Bonding, Boyfriends, Coffee Shop, Draco Malfoy - Freeform, Dreaming, Drinking, Fanfiction, Fluff, Gay, Harry Potter - Freeform, Insomnia, Library, M/M, Slow Burn, bond, draco has depression and anxiety, harry is a soft boyfriend, lucid dream, working
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24429898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meladorema/pseuds/meladorema
Summary: It's been five years since the war but Draco's never been doing worse. Living with Pansy since his mother died and the Ministry took everything he owned, he spends his days looking for a way to get his life back, and his nights trying to sleep through his nightmares.But one night, a boy with a golden tattoo on his neck that says R.E.M starts visiting his dreams and comforts him, making his nights less unbearable.And the next time he sees Harry, it's the first thing he notices: The tattoo on his neck.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Drarry - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.  
> you can find me on tumblr as @meladorema  
> <3

-

"Shh, I know." An unknown yet familiar voice spoke out, carressing Draco's mouth using one hand, the other tracing lines on Draco's stomach. Unable to speak a word, Draco whimpered, scared that he's laying on the body of someone he didn't know, though it felt somehow sweet. This soft touch was giving the comfort he's been craving for a long time, so he wanted to turn around and see the source of it, but the only glimpse he could get was the golden tattoo written on the corner of the human's neck; R.E.M. 

Right when white lights were making him feel like he's going blind, he woke up.

Draco has been seeing multiple nightmares since his mother's death, but today, his brain made him a surprise, making him wake up with a feeling other than melancholy. But the feeling didn't last long, as he got up, his whole body ached and his head felt so heavy.

"Oh, the sleeping beauty has finally woken up," Pansy said with a grin on her face and a cup of coffee between her palms as Draco entered the kitchen.

"Morning to you, too." Draco spoke.

"Slept well?" 

"Same as other nights." Draco replied coldly.

He's been staying at Pansy's flat for a while, stated that he will move out as soon as he gets his life together, but Pansy loved having him around 'cause she thought that she'd probably go mad if she was home alone all of the time.

After a little more pointless chat, Pansy filled another cup up for Draco, her voice suddenly rose up, "Oh, this came for both of us today," handing Draco an envelope.

Draco opened it and saw the invitation card and read it, "Neville Longbottom?" surprised, though he didn't sound like he was.

"I know, right?" Pansy wasn't less shocked, "And he invited both of us," she continued, "Think I might go. I mean, things weren't too bad the last time I saw him."

And she was right, things weren't too bad on their last year at Hogwarts; almost everyone apologised, even though some weren't completely honest. But some were truly honest, like when Draco apologised to Hermione and Ron and Harry, they even became, if you can call it, close. Harry would send him letters every now and then. In fact, he had sent him one soon after Narcissa died. 

Draco felt a heaviness in his chest when Narcissa's face came to his mind, and his heart ached with yearning.

Pansy's voice distracted his thoughts, "So. Are you joining me?"

"I...I don't know."

"Well, you have time to think, the wedding is in two weeks,"

-

The spring flowers were bloomed happily around the road as Draco walked to home, done with another day doing the same things; exploring libraries, looking for jobs, avoiding eye contact with people. Even though he didn't want to work and wanted back his old life, he knew that he had to create a new one. And he still needed more money to buy a new flat. As he slowly walked through the crowdy streets, mostly staring at the ground, with hands wrapped around the bag carrying a few heavy muggle books, he thought of Neville's wedding. He wondered who else might be there...most definitely Harry. His dear friend Harry, who hasn't written to him for almost two months now. Draco thought that he's probably busy working,and soon enough he'll probably get married to Ginny. Draco wondered if Harry would be the same to him back when they were constantly owling. He wanted to know about him, hear from him, but it felt too odd to do that at this point. 

Why don't I just write and ignore the fact that we haven't heard from each other for almost 2 months now,  Draco thought, his thoughts doing a sharp turn.  But never mind, why would he even care? If he wanted to write to me all along, he would have. It was the last thought that crossed his mind before whispering the password to get into the apartment.

That night, when he went to bed around 3am, he saw another dream. He was in a place covered with big white lights again, and the person that comforted him was standing a few steps in front of Draco, but not facing him. As Draco got closer, he realized that this person was a boy, his short black hair was the darkest thing in the place. Draco got closer, reaching out to touch the shoulder of the boy, body shining with the white lights, and his fingers went down and traced the tattoo, as the boy whispered, "Don't be scared."

Draco woke up, feeling weirdly good. He had this empty yet so full feeling in his body; he couldn't tell if it's the feeling of waking up or because of the dream or both, but it felt better to be empty than heavy. It was like every night he slept and saw the boy in his dreams and woke up with less weight on his shoulders, like the boy took a bit of the burden each night. Though, the boy wasn't the only subject of his dreams, he still saw nightmares that consists his mother and the war and every single thing he didn't want to remember. But the last dream he'd see before waking up was always him. And it made him forget about his blues for at least a while.

The next few days went the same, the routine wasn't any different except Draco started getting to bed earlier and walking even more during the day; searching different books about dreams and their meanings, and going to bed thinking about the boy and hoping to finally see who he is. In one of the books he's read from the library it said,  
**"The people we see in our dreams are actually people we've seen at least once in our lives,"** which meant, it could be any person he's randomly seen in the streets, but he didn't find it possible to dream so much each night about someone that he has only seen once in his life. So it was most likely someone he already knew. Draco thought about how each dream was different in a beautiful way; one night he'd be hugging the boy, while he whispered comforting sentences to Draco, in another, he'd feel the boy's hands wrapped around his. But one thing would certainly never change: the tattoo. Draco would rub the golden tattoo sitting fragilely on the boy's neck gently with his fingertips and it would glow even more; like the happiness of a pet after you fed it or the bloom of a flower that gets to see good sunshine. Some days he'd get hopeless about finding who the boy is but meanwhile, each night the boy's skin was turning a shade darker than bright white to a flesh-color. And his hair was getting prettier. Draco wanted so badly to see his face, even a bit of his eyes or lips would be enough for him to figure out at least what he looked like, but the tattoo was all he'd get.

It's been almost two weeks since the dreams started. Draco was sitting with his book about dreams, trying to find anything related to R.E.M but Pansy distracted him,

"Have you made up your mind?"

Honestly, Draco didn't really care about the wedding. He didn't wanna see and greet anybody at all, but then he thought of Harry and-

"Oh, come on Draco! I don't wanna go alone and look like a loser out there," Pansy spoke again.

"Well, fine, alright." Draco thought for a moment before replying, "But you need to choose what I'm gonna wear. I've lost my sense of fashion."

-

The place wasn't too crowdy yet, when Draco and Pansy got in. They quickly found a place to sit down, close enough to Hermione and Ron's seat. They greeted each other, and surprisingly none of them treated Draco as shitty as he thought they would. After a small talk, Draco got bored, so he got up to the men's room, his bag in his hands.

He knew it'd be boring at some point, so he brought his book about dreams with him. As he entered the large restroom, there wasn't really anyone at all, so he relaxed and took his book from his bag, leaning on the wall. Right when he started reading the first sentence, someone got out of one of the rooms and Draco quickly laid his eyes on the man, and then again- Harry Potter?

Harry washed his hands quickly and caught Draco's gaze from the mirror and same as Draco, he didn't understand who he was first but the second time he looked he knew who he is.

"Draco?" 

"Harry!" 

Right when Harry turned around, Draco couldn't hold himself and jumped to hug Harry's neck. Though he regretted it soon enough and pulled himself away. 

"It's so good to see you here, honestly I wouldn't think you'd come!"

"It's good to see you too, Harry."

And none of them were lying. Both of the boys were smiling stupidly as they talked in the restroom that was designed a little too big, that their voices made tiny echos.  
But it wasn't the voices that drew Draco's attention, it was how beautiful Harry looked. He got older but it looked so damn good on him, his dark hair glowing from the yellowish lights of the room, and his pale neck exposed cause of his half-buttoned shirt, as well as a bit of his chest.

Right when Draco was about to rant about why he never wrote to him, his eyes caught the black ink written on the corner of Harry's neck. 

"Oh my," Draco murmured, staring at the tattoo with those three letters; R.E.M.

Harry realized that Draco finally noticed it so he moved his shirt a little more to expose the full tattoo as he spoke, "Oh, this?"

"Harry that's-" Draco couldn't find any words to say, so he asked Harry the first question that popped in his head, "When did you get it?"

"I guess, it must be exactly two weeks as of today,"

Draco felt he might actually go crazy.  Two weeks,  he thought.  Two weeks since you got the tattoo, and decided to visit me in my dreams,  he thought again. What the fuck was Potter doing in his dreams? Why was it him that gave Draco the peace he was dying to have? What the fuck happened?

"Do you like it?" Harry still had that stupid, adorable smile on his face.

Draco thought that the horror in his mind would probably be written on his face too, so he quickly snapped, "The fuck does it even mean?" When, in fact, he didn't mean to sound like that at all.

Harry's mood changed too quick, "I- I don't really remember... I was so wasted one night with Ron and others, then woke up with this."

"Huh.." This didn't help at all, Draco thought. It was like Harry was hiding something, at first he asked "Do you like it?" Like Harry thought it'd be special, just for him. But then he said he doesn't know what it meant, and his smile turned into a somehow upset face. 

"And um.. What are you reading?" Harry asked.

Draco forgot about the book that he's been holding in his hands, "Oh, this- Is just a book about dreams."

"Dreams?" 

"Yeah, I've been seeing very weird ones lately."

"Oh.." Harry replied as some other guy got in the restroom, making them decide that they should continue the talk in their seats.

-

It's been a couple hours now, and Draco was oddly having fun. Hermione and Ron weren't so unfriendly to Pansy, they got along real quick, sipping their drinks as they had this very fun looking converation. On the other side, there was Draco and Harry talking right in front of the big mirrors, and theirs were no different.  
Harry was aware of the fact that Draco was staring at the tattoo most of the time but he didn't say anything about it.

Later Harry suggested, "Wanna go somewhere to drink?"

"All we've been doing for the last 3 hours is drinking, Harry,"

Harry smiled, "I mean, a real drink. This didn't cut me."

"Oh, so you wanna get shit faced," Draco replied.

"Yes. Exactly. I wanna get drunk as hell."

"Fine then. I hope I don't end up with a meaningless tattoo like yours by the morning," Draco replied. He had to continue the big lie of not liking the tattoo. He had to not show the fact that he was still shocked.

But when Harry laughed, Draco knew instantly he was faking it. Draco thought, maybe he actually cares about it, and decided not to insult him about it anymore.

Later, they got out without making the trio notice -at least that's what they thought- and Harry led the way to get their drinks, telling Draco that he'll take him to a "very pretty, peaceful place" afterwards.

And they did. The place Harry apparated them to was a cliff but not too high from the sea that it makes you scared, in fact one could clearly see each wave in the sea that laid in front of them. The colors that were adorning the sky were looking fabulous, almost making the eyes believe that they're staring at a picture. The sun was slowly falling down to the sea, making the colors move in a way prettier than before.

"Lovely," Draco commented. It was the prettiest thing he'd saw since a while -except for his dreams.

Harry replied with a smile as he opened both of their drinks, handing one to Draco as they sat on the grass.

As Harry watched the view, he softly spoke, "I really miss you."

A weird feeling hit Draco's body when he heard Harry's voice, the exact voice he's been hearing in his dreams, the exact voice that made him want to not wake up from his sleep.

Not having a reply from Draco, Harry continued, "I know I haven't written to you and I'm sorry, but as I said before, I work as an Auror and it's busier than you can imagine." Draco still wasn't looking nor replying to him, so Harry kept talking with the soft tune as he watched Draco sip from his bottle, "But believe me, you've been in my head, Draco."

That moment Draco turned his head to face Harry, and replied with a dizzy head, "I understand... You've been in my head, too." 

So many times in so many nights, Draco thought, but his eyes were stuck on the tattoo again, making him forget about the words especially with his tipsy head now. And the way Harry laid down on the grass made him get a full view of the dark yet somehow glowing tattoo, making him suddenly remember the words he'd whisper in the night.

Harry caught Draco's gaze and smiled weakly, taking another sip of his drink.

"Soo.. Harry.."

"Yeah?"

"What happened to you and Ginny?" Draco didn't know why he brought this up at all. He just couldn't think straight anymore.

"Oh, Ginny?" Harry sighed like he's been waiting for this question, "We broke up a long time ago, decided to stay friends.. I thought I'd written to you about this..?"

"I don't remember..." Draco sighed. "And are you fine with it?"

"I'm more than fine with it, Draco..." Then, there was a long, but comfortable silence. 

"What about you? How are you holding up?" Harry spoke again. 

Draco knew what Harry was talking about. Though it's been five years since the war, not everyone was able to move on from it completely, and Draco knew that Harry understood.

"I'm not sure, Harry." Draco sniffed, his nose red and cold from the wind, "I'm trying but... her face won't leave my mind.." His voice cracked as he spoke, tiny tears streaming down his face. 

Harry got up from where he was lying down and sat next to Draco, rubbing his back as the blond boy cried on his shoulder, whispering, "Shh, I know." 

He pulled Draco closer to his body, placing one hand on his stomach as the other carressed his cheek & mouth, "I know how you feel."

And in that moment Draco wanted to scream so loud that the ocean would shake. He wanted to yell at Harry to stop and move his hands out of his body but how could he, when one of his most desired dreams was coming true? Draco continued crying, letting out tiny little sobs, and a few moments later he managed to lift his face up and see Harry's face as well as his tattoo.

Harry looked at the boy lying on his arms. He looked pretty while crying, even prettier than he already is. He moved the blonde hair from his forehead to one side, cupping his face with both of his hands as he looked into the wet blue eyes staring at him. 

Right when he was about to talk, Draco moved his hands to touch the tattoo softly,slowly, tracing through each letter. As he slowly rubbed the tattoo, it started to glow, just like in his dreams, but this time it went from black to shimmering gold.

Harry was shocked at the glow. "D-Draco.." He continued a few seconds later,  
"It was me all along," he took a deep breath, Draco's grey-ish blue eyes staring up at him. 

Harry was still shocked, though he continued, "I saw you, one night, in my dreams, on a regular day. You- you were crying Draco, and I knew why, but I could never see you in my dreams again. I wanted to owl you and reach out to you, but I just couldn't... Then I found a way. I mean, Hermione did. I got this tattoo... So I could visit you in your dreams and comfort you- but when you said you..." He took a breath, "I.. thought it didn't work... But when you touched it, it glowed... Which means, it did work." Harry smiled now.

"Why, Harry?" Draco asked, through the million questions filled up in his head. "Why did you want to help me?"

Harry stared down at him. They were so close that they could kiss. "Because.. Because I care about you."

Draco smiled, eyes and nose red, with tears still in his eyes, and hugged Harry's neck a little too tight. He buried his face in Harry's neck before placing a soft kiss on the shimmering tattoo.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been around two weeks since the incident. Harry and Draco decided to write to each other more, and even though Harry's Auror life was actually busier than Draco can imagine, he somehow still found time to write to him. 

Draco was way more happier than he thought he would be. Harry made him feel things he haven't felt for a long time, the feelings Draco thought that he forgot. Each day he felt this _thing_ between them get stronger. He always looked forward to Harry's owl, he looked forward to hear about his day and his feelings.

Pansy was aware of it too. The unhappy and moody Draco that once stood in this home was slowly fading away. Instead he would come to the kitchen with a new letter from Harry in his hands and a big smile on his face. 

But that day, it was Draco's happiest day since Harry re-entered his life. When Pansy came in the living room, she saw Draco dancing around happily, repeatedly kissing the letter in his hands. 

"What did he write again?" Pansy asked, smirking.

"He invited me over for dinner, Pans!" Draco ignored the fact that he was caught doing stupid dance moves and continued happily, "Between all his work! He had only one day off the whole week , and he chose to spend it with me!"

Pansy smiled, relaxing into the sofa with the Daily Prophet in her hands and spoke again as she sat down, "Soon you'll live with him, won't you?"

"What? Live with him?" Draco sounded shocked yet he was still smiling. "That's... not going to happen. But anyway, isn't it just so nice of him to treat me like this?"

"Yes, sweetheart. That's great. Enjoy it, you deserve it."

But Draco immediately felt the coldness in the words that came out of Pansy's lips. He sat down next to her, placing a hand on her knee, 

"Why are you upset?"

Pansy was about to start but when she looked into Draco's eyes, she decided not to. Draco's been through a lot. And he actually deserved it.

"Pff-what? I'm not upset!" She continued, "I'm happy, really! All you ever did for months was go to the library, come back home, library, home, library, ho-"

"Alright alright we get it!" They laughed. 

Then Draco got up and walked one step but turned around and said,

"Umm... Pansy? What am I going to wear?"

ー

The clocks showed 8 p.m. when Draco used the Floo Powder to Harry's home. He walked out slowly, threw the dust on his clothes, coughed a little. He hadn't used the powder for a long time.

When he looked up and saw Harry coming closer to him, smiling and his big arms opened, it felt like all his problems disappeared. Harry pulled him in a tight hug. And though Draco didn't want to believe it, he felt him slightly inhaling to smell his neck.

The hug was too tight and it went on for a little too long, so he took a step back.

"Harry?" He almost whispered.

"Oh.." Harry moved his jet black hair from Draco's neck, smiling. "Sorry. Come on, dinner's ready."

Draco was smiling too. And his jaw dropped when he saw the big kitchen. Harry had so much food prepared for him. Some foods he didn't even know the name of,which he thought were some Muggle food.

"Why did you prepare so much? It wasn't necessary at all!" 

"Well... I realized how much I missed cooking. Couldn't stop myself once I started."

Draco couldn't think of a reply. He only stared at Harry, realizing how handsome he looked. His arms were bigger with muscles, and his Auror body was fit as fuck. His beard was slightly longer since the last time he saw him but he looked better, his skin glowing under the kitchen lights.

They ate while chatting. Draco got so used to not eating that after just a few bites, his stomach felt like it was going to explode. But he ignored the feeling. He loved Harry's talk so much he couldn't really think of anything else. It's like all his nasty thoughts were disappearing when they were together.

Soon after their meal was done, they went to the living room, and Harry brought a bottle of wine and poured one glass for Draco and one for himself.

"I didn't know you drank so much." Draco said while taking a sip.

"Not always.. You know, only during times like this.." Harry's voice was filled with satisfaction.

 _Times like this._ What did that even mean? Draco was too scared to ask that question. He was too scared of its consequences. He would probably hate himself more than ever if he ruined such a beautiful day like this with the curiosity of a meaningless hope. 

To his luck, Harry changed the subject. And Draco just couldn't stop smiling. He listened carefully to every single thing he was talking about, and seeing the spark in Harry's green eyes made him feel drunker and drunker. After a while, Harry got up and opened one of the cupboards and took a photo album. 

There were mostly memories with Ron and Hermione, and a few of his Auror days. In one of them, there were Ron and Harry in a place, most probably Three Broomsticks, raising their Butterbeers in the air cheeringly. Draco just couldn't take his eyes off that moving photograph, because Harry looked so fine. He looked joyous. Happiness looked extremely good on him.

Harry noticed what Draco was staring at, and decided to explain.

"I can never forget this day. Ron and I solved a case that was going on for months, and we were really proud of ourselves. Might just be the best moment ever in work, it was a tough case," Harry grinned, his eyes fixed on the photograph like he was thinking of that day.

Draco smiled. He tried to imagine Harry like that, so proud and joyful, but then Harry talked,

" _Or_ my only truly happy memory there."

These words made the smile fell from Draco's face immediately. "Why is that?"

"I.. don't think I enjoy being an Auror as much as I used to. It's... kind of tiring, you know, the rush. I feel like I need something rather quiet." Harry stopped, looking at Draco who was waiting for him to continue, "..You're the only person I told about this."

"You can share any thought with me. _Anything._ Trust me, I'll understand."

"I know, Draco." Harry's grin was turned into a weak smile.

And the way Harry called his name made Draco feel something really, really different. He didn't now if it was the wine or the way Harry looked or both, but the next thing he knew was they were both laughing and sitting a little too close to each other.

"Oh you ungrateful prick!" Draco spoke drunkly, "You have job, crap ton of money _and_ you're everyone's favorite. The exact opposite of my miserable life!" Perhaps he drank a little too much. The next words came out of his lips quietly, "I don't even have a wand.."

"Well what if I don't want it anymo- Wait what? You don't have a wand?"

Draco looked up at Harry, "Of course I have a wand- I just have no idea where it is!" Draco sighed. The laughter had stopped now. The only thing left was drunk heads with messy thoughts. "It's not my biggest problem though. I can do most spells with my hands. I'm used to it. What I really need is.." He sighed again, "Money. Goddamn money. A job. A reason to wake up in the morning."

Harry's eyes were stuck on Draco's platinum hair. He looked like he was thinking of something but he was listening to Draco too.

"I feel like a burden each day I stay with her." His voice got weaker and weaker. "It hurts so fucking bad to take and never be able to give anything good in return." 

And when he looked at Draco, he saw the silent tears falling down his face. He was trying to hide them but couldn't. So Harry pulled him to his chest and ran his hands on Draco's hair before talking smoothly,

"Draco, you don't have to feel that way. She's your friend, of course she will help you without expecting anything in return. You'd do the same for her, wouldn't you?" Draco buried his wet face in Harry's chest, "I promise you, it won't be like this forever. You won't be like this forever."

Harry had no idea how soothing his soft touches were. Draco was crying, and he was drunk, but with Harry's fingers running up and down his hair and arms, he couldn't think of anything at all.

And the rest of the night was just a blur. Draco could only remember that they stayed like that for a while, Harry casting a cleaning charm on Draco's face, then apparating. If he forced his mind to remember more, he would think of nothing but the feeling of Harry's arms wrapped around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLACK LIVES MATTER.
> 
> if you cant donate, watch this video on youtube to help! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgLa25fDHM


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday draco ♡

-

Draco woke up with a horrible headache next morning. He thought all of yesterday's memories were only a dream when he realized he was in his bed. Right when he was trying to move himself in bed, Harry's owl came in from the open window.

The owl dropped the letter to the bed and moved to Draco's desk. Draco slowly got up in pain and poured some water for her before forcing his eyes to read the letter. He could read _a friend I know runs a cafe in some quiet Alley and he is looking for someone to help,_ then his eyes lowered to read the last few sentences on the parchment which said, _this is only the first job I found for you, if you don't want to work there then let me know so I can look for different stuff.._ and an address with a note that said he can go take a look himself or they can visit together. And lastly, Harry wrote about how much fun he had yesterday, and that they _really need to repeat it as soon as possible._

At first, Draco didn't know what to think. He wanted to be happy but just couldn't. He spent last evening with Harry but didn't remember half of it because of that bloody drink. He thought of the possibilities of how many stupid things he probably said or done. But then his head started hurting more, so he opened one of his drawers and drank the tiny bottle of potion to ease the ache. Then he sat down to write back to Harry.

-

The alley was as quiet as Harry mentioned. They were standing in front of the coffee shop now, painted dark brown but the lighter colors of the tables were visible from the glass. The people could be seen; there weren't many, but there was still a rush going on inside. Yet it looked like a calm place.

Still, Draco could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He could feel his anxiety growing inside him. He had a worried look on his face while staring up at the tiny looking shop.

But when he turned around, he saw Harry staring at him, with the realization of his worries.

"Are you alright?" Harry's soft voice spoke.

"What if I screw up?" 

"There's nothing to screw up," Harry suddenly cupped Draco's face with both hands, "You'll only get in there, meet Norman, decide if you like the place and that's it. If you don't like it, then we'll go look somewhere else. That's all!"

Draco could only half-concentrate on his words because he was melting into the silky touch of Harry's hands. He nodded, desperately wanting to kiss both Harry's palms. But right in that moment, Harry removed them, muttering a _let's get inside_ , guiding Draco into the shop.

Draco took a deep breath before stepping in. As soon as they got in, the thick smell of coffee filled his nostrils. He looked around; the few people sitting and sipping on their hot beverages didn't even bother to look at them. The place was looking plain but lovable, shades of brown filled the walls and tables, dim lights making their color show more. A guy Draco thought was Norman came closer to them, shook both his and Harry's hand one by one, and sat them down the nearest table.

"Mr. Malfoy, it's very nice to meet you." 

"You too, Mr. Moore." 

Norman Moore, the owner of the coffee shop, was around ten years older than Harry & Draco. He was a tall guy with dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. He looked almost like a Muggle. Harry had met him around three years ago during a case at work, and as he told Draco, he was a really nice person that he wanted to keep in touch with.

And he wasn't wrong. Norman was very kind and friendly, especially to Draco. It was like he really needed him to work here that he chose each word carefully so he could persuade Draco.

They talked mostly about money and work hours. And Draco was actually interested in the job. In fact, he didn't even want to lose time thinking because he really needed money.

After what seemed like an hour, Draco was told that if he wants, he could start next monday. 

"Alright, then, Malfoy. I'll send you an owl on friday, then?" Norman was smiling.

"Yeah," Draco replied, trying to smile back.

"See you around, Norman." Harry shook the older guy's hand and they made their way out.

When they got out, the fresh air of the alley hit their faces. There still were not many people, and the air was warm and a little windy. 

"So, what do you say?" Harry sounded eager to hear Draco's thoughts.

"Harry, I..." Draco didn't know how to put the words together. They were walking slowly next to each other, and he had the big urge to hug Harry and hold his hand.  
He wanted him to cup his face and look into his eyes and talk to him softly again.

But he continued. "I don't understand. You... you keep doing me these favors. You are _literally_ giving me my life back and..." They both stopped walking and turned face to face. "You have no idea how grateful I am. Thank you- for everything."

And then Harry did look at him like that again. His lips turned into a thin smile before he spoke, "You deserve it." He put his arm around Draco, and they continued to walk along the street. "What do you think of Norman? How do you like the place?"

"He seems like a great guy. And the place is beautiful." 

Harry was smiling bigger now. "So you will take the job?" 

"Definitely." Draco didn't fail to notice Harry's happy expression. "Was he always like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like, very very kind."

"Oh.." Harry sighed like he remembered a memory. "He wasn't, to be honest. He was still a good person though. Just not this good. But after his wife was killed, he just... changed." 

He stopped for a moment to think. He looked lost in memories for a while. Then he continued, "That's how we met him. We found the murderer. Some psycho fuck,"

Draco felt sorry for him. He knew the feeling of losing someone you love.

"And she always wanted to run a place like that, he said to me. That's why he opened it- I think a few months ago? And his daughter works there, too. I'm sure she will help you."

Draco didn't know what to say. He thought of all the bad things Harry had to see during work, like he hasn't been through too much. 

Then he broke the silence. "I hope she does cause I'll need it." 

ー

The days Draco spent without Harry were the worst. The letters weren't enough now, Draco wanted more of him. He wanted to be with him. He missed Harry's soft touches. And he just couldn't stop himself from thinking about him.

He counted the days until monday to start his first day at work. He didn't know if he was excited yet. He'd been looking for jobs on his own for months, yet Harry was the one to put him in one. 

Harry Potter was undeniably addicting. It was impossible for Draco to keep his mind off of him when he wasn't around. He tried though.

The days went by in the slowest way possible. Draco spent them trying to read, sleep and eat. But he just couldn't control his mind. He had talked to Pansy about the job, who was very happy that Draco finally got one, but also a little scared that he would leave. She wasn't ready for him to leave. Draco wasn't either.

He got up slowly from his bed, it was around 9 a.m. He hadn't any sleep that night. Although he was tired and his eyes shut themselves down, he just couldn't doze off. He just laid in bed for hours, alone with his dangerous thoughts.

He opened the curtains and then the windows, letting the sunshine and the morning breeze fill the room.  
But nothing felt like it made sense. It was like there wasn't any point in anything. 

He moved his thin and exhausted body around and sat on the table. He checked the calendar; it was finally friday. He took a roll of parchment and started writing to Norman.

Then he felt the tiny glimpse of excitement in his body. He rarely even felt anything these days. He finished writing the letter and soon after a brown colored owl came in his room.

The next day was almost no different from the others. He decided to visit the library to return his books about dreams. He explored the shelves; memories flashing in his head when he saw books about what he had learned in Hogwarts.

When sunday evening finally came, Draco went to bed early hoping to fall asleep quick, but deep down he knew that his mind would find a way to keep him awake. 

But surprisingly, right when he put his head on the pillow, he drifted off immediately.

_A while later, he opened his eyes and saw that there were lights all around, and himself lying on the ground. He got up and instantly remembered this place. When he turned around, he saw Harry sitting next to him._

_"I thought you'd want to calm down a little." Harry was beaming, his voice sweet like honey._

_Draco smiled. He couldn't think of words to say. And then, he did the thing he'd been dying to do since the day they last saw each other; he threw himself into Harry's arms.  
He let himself get lost in the comfort of Harry's body. The fact that he didn't even know if this was real didn't disturb him. He was wrapped around Harry and it was more than enough._

_"Look at me," He heard Harry saying._

_He pulled his head from Harry's chest and looked into his dark green eyes._

_"You'll do great, okay? Everything will be fine. You'll be fine," Harry muttered. He placed a soft kiss on Draco's temple, then on his neck, then buried his face there, arms still wrapped around him._

And then, he woke up.

ー

"Oh, you're early!" The girl spoke to Draco.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Draco Malfoy, I know who you are!" She giggled as they shook hands. "I'm Maira Moore, and we will be working together!"

"Oh," Draco replied, staring at the girl who was so full of energy. "Nice to meet you, Maira."

"You too! Come, I'll show you the kitchen," 

They moved to the tiny hall that met the kitchen. It was a room, smaller than the shop, a little messy, and smelled of fresh-baked cookies. 

Maira told Draco about herself as he curiously looked around. She was a 18 year old girl that spent most her time here in the cafe. She had big blue eyes like her father, and a long, curly, light brown hair.

"There usually aren't many people around, so I don't struggle with anything," She said.

"Great." They smiled at each other and went back to the main place.

There were only five people in the moment, and Maira mentioned again that it was usually calm like this.

"So you won't have to do much, really." She said while handing Draco a beige colored apron. "You will mostly serve, sometimes do cleaning. And wear this please." 

"Okay." Draco was more than ready.

"Oh and whenever you need a break, just let me know!

They sat down and talked, Maira was almost no different from her father- kind, friendly, but mostly full of energy. Though she seemed trustworthy, Draco didn't want to share too much only on the first day of their friendship, and thankfully Maira didn't ask any question that made Draco uncomfortable.

Then, he heard the bell that made the tiny sound each time the door opened, and turned his eyes around to see his first customer-

"Oh hello!" Maira ran to the man's arms and gave him a short and tight hug. 

It was Harry who came. And he was looking at Draco with a smile on his face.

"Hi," Harry said, moving closer to where Draco stood.

"I thought you were at work," Draco said.

" I _am_ ," Harry replied. 

Maira prepared a mug of coffee for him quickly with her wand. She didn't even ask Harry what he wanted, it seemed she already knew. 

"Thank you- Mind if I steal him a bit?" Harry said, pointing at Draco who was watching them.

"Of course not!" She replied.

Harry moved to the table at the very corner and Draco followed quietly. As he sat down, Draco watched him, not moving.

"Won't you sit?" Harry asked as he took a sip from his coffee.

"Oh, right." Draco pulled the wooden chair in front of Harry and sat.

Harry was beaming just like he did in yesterday's dream. "How is your first day going so far?"

 _"Spectacular,"_ Draco replied. "I haven't even done anything at all- yet."

Harry chuckled at that. Took another sip of his black coffee. "Look, if there's anything, anything you don't like-"

"No, Harry," Draco whispered, "Everything's perfect. You've already done more than enough." He sighed, "I still don't know how to thank you."

Draco had that worried look on his face again as he rest his back on the chair and put both his elbows on the table, his hands laying intertwined in front of Harry's mug as he stared outside the glass with worry.

Harry suddenly reached for Draco's right hand and held it. His palm was warm from holding the mug, fingertips soft like cotton. Draco inhaled, staring down at their hands.

"It's fine." Harry spoke. "I already said it but I'll keep saying it until you believe it. _You fucking deserve it._ Just trust me."

"It's not about trusting you, Harry." Draco snapped back at him. "I trust you more than anyone. More than I trust myself." He moved his eyes to meet Harry's. "It's just-"  
He stopped. Sighed again. Then he looked down at the floor, thinking for a word to say, but all he could think or feel was Harry's hand wrapping his. 

He slightly squeezed his hand, "What about _your_ job, Mr. Auror Potter?" He asked jokingly.

"Oh come on, Aurors take breaks too!" Harry replied in the same tone.

And during the whole talk, neither of them moved their hands, until half an hour later the bell was heard again and another customer came in. Harry decided it was time he should go back then, hugging Draco before leaving and murmuring a _Have lovely day_ on his ear.

Only a few more people came after that, and Draco learned already a lot on his first day. His anxiety made him believe that he would somehow fail, but with a patient and lovely friend like Maira, and the thoughts of Harry comforting him, he was able to control it.

The day ended quicker than he thought. Instead of apparating, he decided to walk home. He thought of the last time he walked here with Harry, he thought of his dreams, his soft voice, his dark green eyes. Him.

Pansy was super excited. She made him dinner, though he insisted he wasn't hungry she made him eat. Then Draco told him all about the place, Maira, Harry visiting him and holding his hand.  
Pansy gave him the reaction he expected. _"Draco, 'friends' don't act like that, you know"_ she said with a grin.

"I never said we were friends!" Draco replied. "I'm just saying that we're not- he is not-"

But Pansy had a look on her face that said _are you really sure about that?_

The next few days were quiet just like his first one. He got used to waking up earlier and serving but mostly interacting with other people. He was thanking Merlin everyday that the place was actually quiet and only around seven people came each day.

But one of them would always be Harry. 

He kept coming everyday at the same hour for a mug of tea or coffee. He would take Draco with him and sat him down and ask him about his day. Draco kept telling him that he didn't need to come every single day but he would say _I'm just really obsessed with coffee these days._

And now, it has been a week since Draco started working. He woke up at the same time on sunday morning to find a thin, long, black box standing on his desk. 

He got up fastly and saw that the windows were open. The owl must've came, he thought. He took the box and opened it.

His eyes widened at the sight. Inside the box, it was his wand lying. He took it, shocked, examining it carefully. It looked polished, black color looking more royal tahn ever, two lines of gold yellow at the bottom.

Then, he saw the small piece of parchment inside the box.

_Congratulations on getting through your first week.  
I'm so proud of you.  
H _

Happy tears filled his eyes. If Harry was here right now, he would probably drown him in kisses. 

He couldn't decide what to do at first. Then, he took his wand and slowly waved it through the messy books laying on the ground, and in a moment, they were all tidied up.  
He looked in the mirror, pointed the wand on his hair, and suddenly it was clean and styled. In a few minutes, he casted magic everwhere around his room, making different colors of light spilling at the tip of his wand. When he was finished, his room was looking better than ever.

He went to work so excitedly, waiting for Harry to come see him. For a moment, he started to worry that he wouldn't come. What if this was the end of it all? Or did Harry think this would be a way to say goodbye to him? Many more meaningless questions were growing in his head as he heard the bell.

He watched Harry come inside, next to him. Harry saw the wand between Draco's hands, and next second, Draco's arms were wrapped around his neck.

Draco pulled himself back, "Ha-"

"Shh, no, don't even start." Harry said, he put his index finger on Draco's lips, then wrapped both his hands around his waist, "I only brought you what's already yours."

Draco sighed with a smile, his arms still on Harry's neck. Their faces were dangerously close. Then, he noticed the black ink on Harry's neck, the R.E.M tattoo.  
He stroked the tattoo carefully with his fingertips, and then put his lips on it, breathing Harry's smell.

And that was when he understood. There was no point in denying it now.

He was in love with Harry.

ー


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel so bad with my writing and i'm not sure if i like this at all, but i hope you do. <3
> 
> (pls lmk if u do)

It was healing for Harry to see Draco struggle less with his new routines. Both of them were working hard, but Draco obviously looked happier than Harry. But seeing Draco blissful was giving Harry the satisfaction that being an Auror failed to give.

On the other hand, Draco was getting more and more ambitious each day. He had so much time after work for himself that he got bored, which made him decide to find himself an extra job in the evenings. 

And he was lucky. The friend he made who worked in the library, Lucas, told him that one of the staffs were going to be at St. Mungo's for a long time. Since Draco was one of the few trustable people that regularly visited, Lucas asked him to work there until the wizard came back. 

Draco didn't even think twice, he immediately said yes, hoping to not regret it.Later he realized that he wouldn't, for the cafe wasn't exhausting and the library was mostly quiet and calming. So he mostly loved both of his jobs.

Though he didn't get paid yet, he loved being admired by Harry for working so hard, and it was better than money.

The delightful feeling of falling in love was making Draco almost dizzy. He didn't know it was possible, but he was thinking about Harry more than he used to. The amount of letters they sent each other weekly was getting out of control, Draco never vanished any one of them since the very first one and seeing the tiny mountain of letters Harry sent him sitting at the corner of his room made him grin.

And now, he was at the library, done with work and waiting for his shift to end while reading a Muggle novel about love. He was questioning the apathy of one of the lovers when he heard that familiar voice,

"Hi," Harry was standing next to him, smiling.

"Hi," Draco whispered as he put the book down, not being able to decide if he should hug Harry or not.

Harry must've felt his thoughts, because now he was wrapping his arms around him and saying, "How are you?" to his neck.

"I-I'm good." Draco whispered, stunned of the sudden sensation. "You need to be more quiet, Harry."

Harry pulled back, pointed his wand at his throat and murmured a few words. 

"Better?" Though he wasn't whispering, his voice sounded much lower.

"How come I don't know that one?" Draco was fascinated, though he tried to hide it.

Harry snickered, then quickly thought him the spell and watched Draco as he casted it on himself too. 

They talked with their quiet voices. Apparently Harry had an exhausting day at work, had a disagreement with Ron that he couldn't stop thinking about and the bags under his eyes were darker. Draco listened to him with attention, as always. Harry looked not only tired of work, but tired of people, too, which made Draco worry more.

Almost an hour later, his shift was done and they left the library, walking down the streets, lit up with dim lights. Each time they did that, Draco had this strange urge to hold onto Harry somehow; hold his hand, or hug him, or just walk as close to him as possible. He failed to understand why, perhaps he didn't want any other person to even look at him, and to show them that he had no intention of sharing what's his. But was Harry truly his? His mind told him that it was dumb for him to get jealous of people _just because they glanced at him_ and assume that Harry would never leave, but his heart just didn't want to listen, and he seemed to lose the ability to decide between these thoughts.

It was Harry's now back at normal voice that drew back his attention,

"Are you sure you aren't tired? You know, most people don't work at two different places in one day-"

"I'm not!" Draco replied, back at reality from his thoughts, his voice same as Harry's. "None of the work I do is tiring, Harry. You've asked me that for the _eighteenth_ time this week-"

"I did not."

"Yes, you did. I counted."

"Really?" Harry said, surprised. 

Draco only smiled at that. 

The street was quiet, making their footsteps sound loud. It wouldn't be a lie to say that no one was around, except for the sleepy cats walking idly on the sidewalk. There was a comfortable silence between the two man, but inside Draco's head, his thoughts were in a war. He couldn't stop looking at Harry's arms; he wanted so badly to hold those hands resting in the pockets of his denim jacket, just like Harry held his the first time he visited him in the cafe. He wanted to feel their warmth again, right in the moment.

A feeling inside him was telling him that this is the perfect moment, the perfect moment to kiss him or confess how all he really thinks of is him. But another feeling was screaming, _he doesn't love you like that, he doesn't love you like that, he doesn't-_

Draco sighed, looking up at the sky going darker with the shades of the night. He looked around, there were still a bit more time for them to reach home. He heard the other voice again when he looked back at Harry. _Just hold him._

And then, Harry looked at him like he understood. He had this smile on his face that said _it's okay_. Like he heard all those conversations of two opposite feelings inside Draco's head, and he just wanted to tell him that it's okay to have messed up thoughts like that.

Draco,after seeing Harry look at him so tenderly like that, made a move to stand closer to him. Harry was still staring at him, so Draco didn't want to waste any more time, and just linked both of his arms to one of Harry's. In a heartbeat, he found his head resting on Harry's shoulder.

Harry slowed his steps and Draco felt it. It was like something inside both of them was rising with their touch, like both of them needed this. Draco could feel the voices and thoughts fading away, leaving their places to bliss and relief. He sighed with it, both of them not saying a word, but when he glanced up at Harry he saw that his lips were curled into a smile.

And so, they walked slowly down the silent street, with the warmth of each other's gracious touches.

\--

The next day, everything looked better to Draco's eyes. Though he was doing the same things he'd been doing for almost three weeks now, it all seemed different. He didn't want to get too captivated with this feeling, but the more he thought of Harry, the harder it was.

He was inside the coffee shop now, ready to cook a new cake he found the recipe of in the library. He went to kitchen, and a while later, he heard the bell of the door.

"Morning!" It was Maira's cheery voice. "It smells lovely here." She beamed, entering the kitchen.

"Morning to you, too- It was my turn for baking today, wasn't it?" Draco replied.

"Actually, no" Maira sang, a confused yet joyous look on her face. "But go on. Something delicious is about to come out, I can smell it!" She shouted from the hall, leaving the kitchen back alone to Draco.

When Draco finished, it was past Harry's usual visiting hour. More people were at the tiny shop than usual, making loud voices with chatter. But he didn't hear any of them. He could only stare out the window, waiting for Harry to come.

He heard Maira call out his name, coming next to him, "I think you should make more of those cakes, like, right now. People seem to love them," She was smiling as usual.

"Okay. Let me know if Harry comes," He said as he moved back to the kitchen, Maira yelling something behind him that he couldn't hear.

Draco baked as much as he could. But there still seemed to be no sign from Harry. He checked back inside every few minutes, but he just wasn't there.

He was done now, and he heard a few more witches and wizards were ordering his cakes. Right when he entered, he saw him- Harry was entering, no, he was _holding the door open for someone- a guy Draco didn't know._ He saw both of them get in, smiling at each other as they sat down at Harry's usual corner. 

Draco still wasn't inside, he was spying Harry and the unknown wizard next to him. He watched as Harry got up and went next to Maira to give his order.

Draco immediately hid himself behind the wall, not being able to hear or see Harry now. A minute later, he slowly turned around too see Harry holding a tray with two cups of coffee and a slice of the cake Draco baked.

Then, he heard Harry's voice in the noise of the crowded cafe, "Where's Draco?"

And then Maira's, "He's in the kitchen, busy cooking the best cake this cafe has ever seen."

Draco wanted to smile at that, but in a few seconds, he saw Harry sit in front of the other wizard, with that stupid grin on his face. The wizard that Draco has never seen before looked actually _charming_. He was tall, dark brown hair long to his neck with eyes the same color, and he was wearing black Auror robes, which made Draco assume that Harry knew him from work.

They seemed to be getting along super well, and Draco noticed that Harry was looking at the wizard differently, _almost_ like the way Draco looked at Harry. But he didn't want to believe that. He was already feeling sick with jealousy growing inside him. Each time that guy looked at Harry with a smile, he felt the anger grow bigger.

The guy talked most of the time but they were both laughing and smiling. Draco couldn't take it anymore, the way Harry listened and looked so comfortable around him was making him feel worthless . He decided to get out of that weird position he got in to spy on them and walked furiously to the window he was staring at a while ago.

He turned around, his annoyance written on his face, and saw Harry eyeing him. He wasn't smiling now, he looked rather _apologetic,_ but Draco's expression didn't change.

He laid his eyes on the table Harry and the other wizard shared; and he saw the unfamiliar hand reach to touch Harry's shoulder softly to draw back his attention to him. Harry instantly turned to face the touch on his shoulder, and then the guy moved his hand and continued talking.

Next second, Harry turned back his face to see Draco again, but he was already gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't want this fic to end.....

Draco had apparated out the cafe in moments. Though he hadn't exactly thought of going there, he found himself right in front of his apartment's door.

The white-hot feeling was gone now; replaced with numbness. He didn't think, didn't want to remember anything, he just wanted to shut his eyes and never open them. 

He got inside, opened the door, making his way into his room. Then, threw himself face first on the bed.

Suddenly, his mind started putting the pieces together; Harry came to the cafe with someone else, someone he seemed to like so much and acted like Draco wouldn't care. How could he do that without a single care?

He obviously flirted with that guy in front of Draco's eyes. He laughed at almost every word that came out of his mouth, let him touch him, probably bought him the coffee, too.

Then, it hit Draco: None of the things Harry did for him were real. He didn't do them because he cared about Draco; _he did them because he cared about being a good person._ It was just another help the savior of the wizarding world did. He probably would've done the same things to someone else if it wasn't Draco.

He sat up, pulling his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. Memories struck up at his head, every single time Harry touched him, woke him up with sweet dreams,how he spoke softly with lovely words. 

He put his head down at his arms and tears started escaping from his eyes.

Harry didn't love him. He never did. All this time, he was with someone else, and Draco was so blindly in love that he didn't notice.

 _"Stupid, stupid, what was I thinking?"_ He muttered to himself, sniffling. 

After a few minutes, he heard a sound coming from the house; It was Pansy.

She was whistling a happy tune, and Draco heard her drop the keys somewhere. He heard her footsteps coming closer, and in seconds, she was standing up at the door.

"Draco?" 

She immediately came inside and sat next to Draco on the bed, putting one arm around his shoulder.

"What is it? Is it about work? She was rubbing his back with one hand, another on his lap.

"N-No.." Draco said between hiccups, "Harry...." Was all he could say.

"Oh." Pansy muttered. "What about him?"

Draco tried to ease the hiccups and tears, and explained as much as he could. Thankfully Pansy understood most of the sentences he couldn't continue, and when he was finished, she spoke,

"Draco, darling... Are you sure they were, like...? You know, it could be only two friends from work having a coffee together.."

"I don't know.." Draco said, tears still streaming down his face, "I don't know what to do, what to think, what to say..." 

"You don't do anything," Pansy ordered. "Don't owl him, don't say a word. If you really believe that they are close, then just ignore him."

Draco looked up at Pansy with wet eyes and she continued, "Though, I'm sure he'd come any time to explain."

"He wouldn't," Draco snapped. "He's probably busy spoiling his new boyfriend!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Draco!" Pansy smiled. "Just give it some time, hm?"

Draco sighed, casting a cleaning charm on his face, making his vision clear without tears. When he laid his eyes on Pansy, he saw that she had more makeup on than usual, and her outfits were prettier, too.

"What are you all dolled up for?" He asked.

"Well, I..." Pansy looked unsure to tell. "Had a date with someone today." 

"Tell me about it!" Draco chirped.

Pansy didn't want to talk about her new crush when Draco sat all heartbroken in front of her, though Draco sounded pretty excited.

Draco understood that Pansy still wasn't sure, so he spoke again,

"I told you about Harry even when you didn't want to know." He forced a smile. "I wanna know how it went, Pans."

"Fine!" Pansy replied, then started halfheartedly telling Draco about her date.

ー

After having a forced dinner with Pansy and owling his apologies to Maira, Draco went to the library. Half of him wanted to see Harry because he already missed him, but half of him was too scared to face him.

The whole evening was like a nightmare. It was one of his busiest days in the library, and he was so distracted with thoughts that he couldn't do anything right. His anxiety was keeping him uncomfortable; normally he would feel calm and relaxed in the peaceful silence of the place but now, he kept checking the door every few minutes to see if Harry came.

But he didn't.

Harry didn't visit him nor wrote that night. Draco wanted to think that he was probably busy working, but then his mind reminded him that what he said earlier was probably right; _He was busy spoiling his new boyfriend._

Draco wanted to be angry, but couldn't. He wanted to cry, or scream, or go next to Harry and kick him in the face like he did once, but oddly, he couldn't feel anything. Anything but numbness, with the effortless acceptence of that whatever there was between them, it ended. Or maybe, it didn't even exist at all.

ー

Two days went without hearing from Harry. Draco wanted to distract his mind, so he kept as busy with work as possible. But when weekend finally came, he was ready to spend it crying in his bed. He did miss Harry. It wasn't easy to just let go.

It was a gloomy Friday evening and Draco was getting ready to get out of the coffee shop. The library wasn't open that evening, and he didn't want to go home at all, but did he have another choice? He cleaned the last few bits of the kitchen, and told Maira that he's leaving.

"Wait!" Maira yelled behind him. 

Draco turned around, confused. But Maira was smiling and she went to open the safe.

She handed him the money with a smile, "Here."

"Oh." Draco wasn't smiling. Though he needed it, he hadn't time to think of money from all that's been happening.

"Well you weren't expecting to work for free?" Maira beamed.

Draco smiled this time, thanked her and left the shop, still stunned from having his own money after a long while.

Right when he turned around the corner, a chest he knew well was standing in front of him. He looked up and saw the big green eyes; Harry.

Harry looked tired. No, tired wasn't enough, he looked exhausted. The bags under his eyes were darker and his beard was longer, and Draco realized how bad he needed to hug him right now.

Harry spoke, "Can I walk you home?"

Draco only nodded. He wasn't able to talk yet. 

And then, they started to walk, getting further and further away from the cafe. Harry spoke again, 

"I'm sorry Draco." 

Draco could feel that Harry's eyes were fixed on him, yet he didn't look up from the ground to meet them.

"Many, many things have happened, and believe me, I had not even a single minute to let you know."

Draco didn't reply. He wanted to ask about his boyfriend, but then thought it'd be better to keep it silent.

He hoped Harry noticed that he wasn't staring at him like he used to. He wanted to show Harry that he could live without him, that he didn't need him. But next second, he blurted out,

"Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy."

"My _what?_ " Harry asked.

"That Auror bloke you came to the cafe with." 

"You mean Kyle?" Harry snickered. "No. He's not my boyfriend, Draco."

"Oh, really." Draco mumbled. The sarcasm in his tone was obvious.

"Well, we needed him for a case. I wasn't shutting up about your cafe, and he asked me to take him there, so I did. And I admit he's a bit touchy and, well, talkative, but we have to bare with him- he technically rules us." 

Draco looked up at Harry now, only to roll his eyes.

Harry noticed that and silently said, "He literally got married like six months ago."

"I didn't ask for an explanation." Draco snapped. "I don't care who he is or what he is to you."

"I know you didn't." Harry replied calmly, despite of Draco's annoyed voice. "He's nothing to me. I explained it because I wanted to. And, I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

 _"The wrong idea,"_ Draco muttered, eyes back on the ground.

Harry didn't reply to that and they continued walking silently. The sun was setting down, and on top of the buildings, the sky filled with pastel sunset tones could be seen. Inside Draco's head, there was reconsideration- was Harry telling the truth? He thought, _Why would he lie to me?_ He tried to remember that day the Auror- _Kyle,_ came with Harry. Were they actually flirting back then? Or were they, as Pansy said, just two friends from work having a coffee together?

He looked at Harry who was walking unhurriedly next to him. He was right. He looked exhausted from work, and not because he was with his "boyfriend" or anything. Draco hated himself for being such a bastard. He asked to make it up,

"Could you solve the case?"

"No," Harry sighed. "We've been working on it night and day, yet we have nothing."

Harry continued to talk about it- he mentioned that he only had three hours of sleep during those two days. The case they'd been working on was one of the hardest, and it's been going on for weeks now.

They turned around another corner, and Draco suddenly stopped in front of a shop, "Hold on."

The shop was bigger than the cafe, and it was colored rose gold. Draco looked inside the window, looking for a particular product.

"Beauty shop?" Harry asked.

"Not for me of course!" Draco replied. "I got my first paycheck today, and I want to buy a gift for Pansy. She's been talking about this lipstick for a while.."

Harry smiled proudly as they got inside the crowded place. Draco quickly made his way to the lipstick section and started searching.

While Draco looked curiously through each section, Harry randomly put his finger on one that had a light gray package, and on top it wrote, _"Glittering Gloss / TESTER "._

He smiled as he said, "I think this would look good on you."

Draco got up, turned around to see the tiny lip gloss Harry was holding in his hands, "What?"

"Do you want to try it on?"

But before Draco could protest, Harry gently held his jaw with one hand and in the softest way possible, started rubbing the stick on Draco's lips with the other.

Draco didn't blink nor breathe during the process. When Harry finished, he looked at Draco with a smile and said, "Go check it in the mirror."

Draco turned around to the nearest mirror and stared at himself. His lips were coated with clear lip gloss, and glitter was glowing on it.

"I-" He didn't know what to say. He turned around to see Harry smiling, watching him. "It's-"

"Pretty," Harry said. 

Draco scowled, then made a movement to wipe the sticky gloss on his lips with his hand but in a second, Harry held his arm,

"No. Keep it on."

Draco sighed at his words, slowly moving his arm from the grip.

"I hate you." He hissed. "You know what, you should put on a red lipstick to finish that clown look."

Harry laughed. "I'm a clown?"

"Indeed." Draco sighed again as he went back to searching, murmuring, "I can't remember its name, the lipstick." He told Harry.

"Let's go ask the lady over there."

They found it, bought it and left the place. It was way more expensive than Draco had thought, but he loved that he was able to buy it now. And he knew that Pansy deserved it.

As they walked home Draco noticed that Harry wasn't able to stop himself from staring at him.

"Do I look _that_ funny?" Draco said, rolling his eyes.

"Funny?" Harry beamed, "You look wonderful."

Draco felt his heart skip a beat. He hoped his excitement wasn't written on his face, so he just tried to grin showily.

Soon after they reached home, and before Draco entered the apartmant, he turned around to Harry and said,

"Look, I know you're busy as a bee these days, but.."

Harry was interestedly staring at Draco, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

"I wanna spend this money with you." Draco said, watching how his words change the expression on Harry's face.

"I mean, If you didn't help me I wouldn't have it. So, If you're free next friday, we can..." Draco swallowed, looking down at  
the ground, then back at Harry, "We can go have dinner somewhere, if you'd like."

Harry smiled. Then, he wrapped his arms around Draco's waist, taking a step closer to him, and hugged him.

"'Course I'd like that," Harry said.

Draco smiled, and hugged Harry back. None of them pulled back for a few long minutes, and finally Harry moved his head to face Draco without moving his hands from where they hold.

And then, it happened. In a slow movement, Harry moved his face even closer to Draco's, and put a long, gentle kiss on his cheek.

"See you." He smiled, completely removing their touch.

Draco hummed, watching Harry apparate.


	6. Chapter 6

Days seemed to decide to go slower whenever Harry wasn't around. Draco convinced himself on that. Though, he had money now, so things were a bit different than usual.

He had the urge to spend it. He lived with almost no money for a long time, and though he hadn't have anything in his "to buy list", he wanted to just not keep it.

But he knew he had to. If he wanted to build his own life without depending on anyone and stand on his own feet, he had to.

So he tried to ignore the money lying in his drawer. He casted a _Reducio_ on it with his wand, making it smaller than toys, and put it away.

Though, there were things he could get without money. Things that made him happier. And the biggest example for that was having coffee -almost- every morning with Harry. 

They both seemed to grow an obsession towards coffee. And, for Harry, with baked goods. Draco was getting better on baking each day, and Harry always mentioned that the coffees Draco brewed were better- without making Maira hear, of course.

It wasn't hard to understand Harry's feelings. But if you have a solicitious mind like Draco's, even the most obvious things need a second thought. Maybe that was the reason Harry was the most gentle with him. It was like whatever Draco needed, Harry seemed to already know, and provided it as soon as possible. It was like he had an idea of his feelings, or if possible, felt them with him. 

But Draco tried not to put too much thought on it. Whatever will be, will be, he'd say to himself. He loved this _thing_ he had with Harry, and he didn't want to ruin it. Just not yet.

So when Friday finally approached, Draco ignored the exhaustion of the week, and focused on his 'date' with Harry instead. 

He'd normally walk home, but their date was in an hour, so he chose to apparate instead. 

Pansy was already at home when he came, and he noticed the clothing she had prepared for him. 

"Finally!" She said with an excited voice. "Come on, get dressed!"

Draco didn't say anything, he shook his wand in a movement, and his clothes were on him.

"Now, sit down and we'll add a few touches." Pansy said, and then she brought her make up bag with her wand on the table.

"What?! No, Pansy, I-"

"Shut up, I won't do anything _too_ obvious." Pansy said, slightly patting blush on Draco's cheeks.

"Stop! Oh my God that's too much-"

And in a few minutes, Draco opened his eyes to see himself- he did actually look good, and the "make up" wasn't even obvious at all. He was impressed by how quick Pansy was at this.

His whole face was glowing like a porcelain, but in a natural way. The dark bags under his eyes were lighter; almost gone, and on the tip of his nose stood a white glow. Pansy must've put something on there, too, because even his eyelids seem to have more life than before.

"Wow," He murmured.

"Knew you'd like it," Pansy's arms were crossed and she had a proud grin on her face. "Oh- I almost forgot!" 

She ran back to her room and came back with a glowing stick on her hands in seconds.

"Is this the one Harry liked on you?"

Draco's jaw dropped, taking the lip gloss Pansy handed him. He had told her as soon as he came home that day. He examined the product, reading its name and remembering the way Harry put it on his lips.

"Yes- But no, how-?" 

"I already had it!" Pansy was smiling. "What are you waiting for? Put it on!"

Draco opened his mouth to protest but Pansy was quicker; she pointed her wand on the gloss and it started putting itself on Draco's lips.

Draco sighed. He heard Pansy yell "You should spray some perfume, too!" behind him as he made his way into the bathroom to fix his hair.

Almost an hour later, Draco was taking one last look in the mirror before he left when he heard Pansy from downstairs, 

"He's here!"

He rushed out of his room, realizing the stupid grin on his face and tried to turn it into a cool smirk. When he made it in front of the door, Pansy wasn't around, and he was alone with Harry.

They both looked at each other with their jaws dropped. Their outfits looked _almost_ the same. Harry was wearing light brown pants with a plain black shirt tugged in. His jacket was black as well, his hands resting in its pockets. Draco, on the other hand, was wearing a plain black shirt too, and the exact pants but in black. And his jacket was the similar light brown color Harry's pants had. Even their shoes were the same- both black, matching their outfits.

Draco looked at himself again and back to Harry in disbelief; both of them smiling wide, then both bursted into a laughter.

"I bet you planned this, _Potter!_ " Draco yelled, laughing.

"Oh," Harry replied the sudden mention, laughing as well. "You look better anyway, _Malfoy._ "

They started walking, chatting idly, laughter fading. The evening was dark and summer was close, warm weather hugging their bodies. Suddenly Harry asked,

"Where are we going?" 

Draco stopped, realized that he had been walking Harry to nowhere in particular. Then, he remembered,

"Well.." He sighed before explaining, "The only place I know is the one I used to go with my mom- and-" 

Draco felt his eyes tear up, swallowed before speaking so his voice didn't crack. He hated how emotional he got.

"And, I- I'm not sure if I'm- I haven't been there since.. Since she..." Draco took a deep breath, forcing his eyes not to cry. He stared at the ground, not facing Harry, not wanting him to see him like this. He didn't want to look at Harry with eyes blurry with tears.

Then, he heard Harry's soft voice, "It's okay, I understand. It's totally fine, I promise." 

Before he knew, Harry gently held up his chin and locked their eyes, "How about we get some Firewhiskey and go around the cliff?" He suggested, lightly rubbing Draco's jaw.

Draco nodded, smiling as he remembered the last time they went there. Soon they found a place to get their drinks, and though he wasn't hungry at all, Draco insisted to buy at least a few snacks next to it to try to make up for the "proper dinner" they supposed to have.

They apparated and as soon as they put their feet down, Draco watched the wind play with Harry's hair. Damn- he looked hot. Harry turned around to face him, and then his eyes caught the sight of the bench behind Draco. They sat down, put their things next to them and Draco poured their glasses of Firewhiskey.

As they sat down in the comforting silence, Draco's eyes were fixed on the view that laid in front of them. The sea was so dark that it was the same shade of the sky, and between them, the bright lights of the buildings were visible. When he raised his face a bit more up, the moon greeted him like a brother he never had; glowing through the sea.

"Are you happy with your life?" He suddenly asked Harry, but then he realized how dumb of a question that was. He was the most loved and known wizard he knew. The most powerful one. Perhaps it was the drink that played with Draco's mind, but then Harry gave him an unexpected answer,

"I'm not sure." Harry said, looking at the sea. "I'm happy you're _finally_ in it, though." He continued, "I mean, you have always been in it somehow, but, you know.." He laid his eyes on Draco, "Never like this." He grinned.

Draco gave him a drunk smirk and replied in a cracked voice, "Yeah."

He wasn't too strong when it came to Firewhiskey. His mind was already messier than usual and he could feel the burn in his throat.

They just kept asking each other questions; about their favorite food to spell to less favorite Hogwarts professor. Sometimes they laughed at each other's answers, sometimes silence stood between them as their heads got lost in memories.

"What was the last time you swam?" Harry randomly asked a while later.

Draco thought for a minute, trying to remember. The place was getting a bit chilly, he could feel it. He took his wand out and cast a warming charm on both of them- first on Harry, then himself.

Harry smiled at that.

"Don't remember," Draco finally said as he yawned, the sudden warmth making him drowsy.

He wasn't looking at Harry though he felt the magic next to him; the empty glasses and food were vanished, and Harry was coming closer to him, pulling Draco gently to lay him on his chest.

Draco was too drunk to grumble, he could only whine when he felt the relaxation he felt on Harry's body. Harry's left hand quickly found its way to Draco's hair, the other one rubbing his thigh. Draco was so relaxed that he could fall asleep. 

"Did you tell anyone?" He found himself asking, wrapping one arm around Harry, and the other rubbing on the hand on his thigh.

"About what?" Harry mumbled, his chin barely able to move from Draco's head lying under it.

"That- you spend most of your time with me."

Harry snickered. "I'm not the type to tell everyone what I'm doing," He said in a calm voice. "Though, Ron and Hermione knows, of course."

"Mmm," Draco replied, his eyes trying to shut themselves. He had already done so much at the cafe today, and that exhaustion mixed with drunkenness just left him somnolent.

He realized that their night was now over, and soon he'd fall asleep and wake up alone. _Wish I could sleep next to you,_ he thought of Harry, but in a few seconds, everything started turning around, and he was lying on his bed-

With Harry next to him.

ー

It was hard to separate reality from dreaming when he woke up. Harry was sleeping next to him so graciously, his chest slowly rising up and down with each breath he took.

Soon he noticed that he was lying in Harry's arms. He was more comfortable than ever, the way Harry held him made him feel a different kind of security.

He looked at Harry's asleep face. The moon was glowing so brightly that all his features were visible in the night. Draco moved his free hand and gently placed it on Harry's jaw, rubbing his beard slowly, his thumb on his soft cheek.

Draco moved his face closer to Harry's, close enough to kiss. But he didn't. He considered the idea million times in his head, though. But he pulled back and found his place back in Harry's arms instead.

Then, he suddenly felt the pain banging in his head. He thought he could just sleep it off, but the ache was so rough he got up quickly and jumped out of bed to find a potion for it. 

Harry moved in the bed, making Draco jump with the voice. Draco stared carefully and realized that he was still asleep. 

He quickly cast a _Tempus_ after finishing the potion to check the time: 4.33 am. He still had time to sleep with Harry.

Though, he wasn't sure to go back to bed. His anxiety rose at the thoughts; Harry could wake up with the next movement and it would be bizarre to see Draco watching him like that. Or worse, he could just storm off without a word. 

Draco sat next to him, still watching his face anyway. Then his eyes laid down on the man's body, his tight muscles making him bite his lip automatically.

Harry was so beautiful like this, sleepy and unaware. He looked so pure like an angel. Draco couldn't hold himself anymore and gently put a hand on the left side of his chest. 

His heartbeats were faster than Draco thought they'd be. So fast that one would think he was facing something dangerous.

He finally decided to sit on the bed. He slowly moved his hand and sat in front of where Harry laid, even slower.

He looked up at the moon who looked so pretty and bright. But the vision of Harry sleeping was definitely prettier, so he just laid his eyes back at Harry.

His mind drew back the memories on his head. The last thing he remembered was wishing to sleep next to Harry, then his wish being the fastest one to come true. 

Either Harry was able to read his mind, or that wish was said out loud.

His eyes went back to staring at the window, and the next time they went back on Harry, a pair of big green eyes were now staring back at him with a sleepy smile.

He smiled back at him, sighing. 

"Hi-" 

"I'm sorry."

They said at the same time.

Harry looked at him with a confused face, sitting up at the bed like Draco.

"I- didn't know I was thinking out loud."

Harry only smiled. 

Then, Draco sighed, staring back at the moon. 

"You-"

The sudden light from his wand stopped Harry talking. They both looked at it resting on the side table; winking with light.

"Fuck," Harry cursed, getting out of the bed in a rush.

"Is everything okay?" Draco got up with him, worried.

"Yea It's- It's an emergency." Harry took his wand and the light on the tip of it died. "I'm really sorry, Draco. I really didn't want tonight to end like this." He said as he grabbed his jacket and put a light kiss on Draco's cheek. "See you soon."

"Harry!" Draco suddenly grabbed his arm, but immediately felt guilty as he saw the concern on Harry's face. "Be careful."

Harry's face turned into a smile, making Draco's heart melt as he removed their connection and apparated in seconds.

Draco was just turning back to normal when he saw an owl in front of his mirror.

He opened the windows and let the owl in. It surely didn't belong to Harry or Maira; it had dark grey feathers and the letter it held was also darker than the ones he'd usually get.

He took the letter confusedly but before he could open it, he saw the tired look the owl had. He quickly transfigured his pillow into a tiny cup, poured some water in it and the owl immediately started sipping.

He opened the letter, yawning in the process. It was longer than he'd expected, but he was curious about it- who would send him a letter this long?

_Dear Mr. Malfoy,_ It said at the beginning. Draco kept reading, his eyes widened in shock at the words.

Apparently his father had bought a house in France way before he went to Azkaban and gave it to one of his friends. The Ministry couldn't take it, because it legally didn't belong to Lucius. The letter was from the man he gave the house to, and he was saying that he no longer wanted the house, and he heard of the situation Draco was currently in, so Draco could get the house back if he wanted to.

The wizard even wrote that he could give Draco an easy job with good price, mentioning how good of a friend Lucius was to him back in time, with a broken English.

Draco dropped the letter in his hands, facing the ground. He looked back up at the owl, still sipping from the cup. It must've came a long way.

Then, he realized. He had enough to move on, to create a new life all along, but he wasn't even aware of it while he built his own life, with his own hard work. He only knew about it now.

He could leave everything behind if he wanted to, and restart completely.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> isn't it scary to think that if i keep uploading every 3 days, this fic will be over at the end of next week?  
> honestly, i loved writing it so much,i know my writing isn't as good but please leave kudos if you liked it!  
> comments would make me even happier :')  
> thank you for reading! <3

ー  
Draco didn't go back to sleep that night. He just laid in bed, thinking, watching the moon slowly fall and sun hurriedly rise.

At first, he wasn't able to think. He didn't believe it could be real. He read the letter again and again, trying to find out why the letter didn't come to him earlier. 

All his life, he rarely had the chance to choose. Everything he had was just put in front of him, without asking him if he really wanted it or not. Now he finally had the chance to create his own path, but he just couldn't make his own mind up.

When he went to the cafe, he was like a zombie. His head was foggy and he just couldn't focus, even Maira noticed it.

"You can take a break if you wish," She told him. "You seem tired. Do you want to go home? Are you ill?"

"I'm fine, Maira. Thank you." 

He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to be anywhere, really. There was only one person he wanted to be with: Harry.

Draco had this tiny bit of hope that Harry would visit. Though, he knew he couldn't even if he wanted to. He was busy, and Draco knew that if he seriously told him to come, he would drop _anything_ he was busy with and come to him.

He thought of Harry's reaction if he told him about it. If he told him that he decided to leave. Or he had the chance to leave, but won't. Not for the life that he created here, not for the friendships or the experiences, but _for him and him only._

On the other hand, there was another alternative. The life he could begin had the possibility to be better than the one he had now. If he just fucked off and forgot about the past and reinvented his future completely, he thought that he probably wouldn't struggle. He could stay in the house on his own, pick up an easier job with more cash and spend his days doing things that he loved.

But there would probably be no Harry. And without him, would those things be as good as he imagined?

Still, he couldn't just write back to the wizard and say, _No thank you, I'm fine this way._ His "situation" was heard even in France, so sending a reply like that would be absurd.

When he came back home that night, Pansy was awake and reading in her bed. Draco snuggled next to her, putting a kiss on her short, dark hair.

Pansy looked just as tired as him. 

"Gotta ask you something." Draco murmured, cuddling Pansy.

"Hm?" Pansy said, sending the book to the shelf with her wand.

"So I got this letter this morning.." Draco said, taking the tiny paper from his pocket. He took out his wand, and as soon as he touched it on the parchment, it came back to its normal size.

He handed it to Pansy who was looking at it in the most curious way. She must've thought it was from Harry.

But when she read it, her reaction was almost the same as Draco's. Her eyes widened, jaw dropped, and she loosened her other arm from Draco's body to sit up in the bed and read the letter closer.

Draco sighed, waiting for Pansy to speak.

"And your question is?" She asked.

"I've got so many of them. Which one should I start from?" Draco said, staring at the ceiling.

"The one you think of the most," She said, laying back to bed.

"Should I stay or go?"

There was this long, long silence. So long it felt like an hour for Draco. Both of them seemed to not know what to say to each other.

Finally, Pansy spoke,

"This is your life, Draco." She stopped again, choosing each word carefully, "I can beg you to stay but if you want to go, then you shouldn't stay just because I told you so."

"That's the problem." Draco replied. "I don't know if I want to go. But I'm scared of the things that I'll miss out if I stay."

"Well that's understandable." Pansy said, then got under the covers. "I think you should give yourself some time, Draco. This guy- I can't even pronounce his weird ass French name- clearly has no hurry for your response. And you don't either. So just try to listen to yourself, and your own wants and needs."

Draco didn't know what to reply to that. Listening to himself, or his wants- those concepts were too far for him.

He could just try, though. He could try to realize what he liked and what he didn't, what he wanted to do, or liked to do. But when he opened the door to his feelings, all he saw was pain hiding in the dark, and worry greeting him like a best friend.

And the rest was just nothingness. 

After a few more minutes spent lost in his thoughts, Draco asked Pansy, "Is everything okay? You wouldn't sleep this early."

Pansy yawned, "Yeah well... Remember the guy I told you about?"

Draco nodded.

"Turns out he was already in a six month relationship and I've been his side bitch all this time." 

"You're kidding."

"How bad I wish I was!"

ー

_Dark wood pressing on his knees made him want to shriek, but he couldn't. His voice was stuck in his throat, pushing hard to come out of his mouth but not able to. He wanted to get up but he was just so exhausted that he couldn't move.  
Gasping for breath, he barely made his head rise up to face the window in front of him, to see nothing but a black sky behind it. It was just the scariest thing. Then, he heard a voice from far, far away. It was yelling so loud, yet it sounded like he was just imagining it. He tried to catch the words it said; _

_Come back to me, please. Come back to me..._

ー

He jumped from the bed, panting, kicking the sheets on top of him away. He realized that he was dripping in sweat, so he took off his shirt, throwing it to the ground.

He opened the window to get some fresh air in his lungs. He stared out the dark sky; it was nothing like the one he just saw in his nightmare.

He hadn't have one like this in a while. He tried to remember the last one he saw, but he could only remember that it was about Narcissa. This time, he had only seen himself, and heard a voice.

 _Come back to me._ Whatever it meant? Come back to who? He hadn't left anyone. Well, at least not yet. Did that mean he should never leave in the first place?

Again, he spent the night awake, thinking. Still, it was the longest sleep he had since he received the letter. 

Suddenly a thought so happy came to his mind: Harry had owled him and told him that he was able to see him today. A big smile spread on his face, the thought of seeing his favorite making him excited.

He spent the day like that, both confused and excited. When Harry finally came to the library, Draco hugged his neck so tight that Harry couldn't breathe.

"H-Draco you're choking me." He could barely speak, voice already low from the charm.

"Sorry." Draco finally let go. "I've been worried." 

"There's nothing to worry about," Harry smiled. "The case is solved, fucking finally."

Draco smiled back, but with a broken one. He thought of how could he tell Harry about his issue.

"That's.. great to hear, I'm glad."

Harry stopped for a second, admiring the quiet and almost empty library. "When's your shift over?" He asked.

Draco looked around, pointing at the pile of books standing in front of the big window. "Whenever I'm done organizing those," He sighed.

"Alright," Harry went next to the books, Draco behind him. "Show me?"

"Uh, the fuck? I'm supposed to do that _alone-_."

Harry dropped his shoulders and rolled his eyes, "I'm just trying to get us out of here as soon as possible."

Draco sighed, then seperated the books to their categories, then handed Harry a pile to place back to the shelf. They repeated that for a few more times, exchanging their tasks once in a while.

In a short 20 minutes, they were done and leaving. As soon as they stepped out the library, Harry told him that he wasn't feeling up for a walk tonight, and Draco was only able to say "Okay-" before Harry suddenly grabbed his waist, pulled him close and apparated both of them in front of his home, leaving Draco breathless.

They got inside the building, Harry taking off his jacket and hurrying to the kitchen, then coming back to the living room where Draco sat comfortably.

Draco noticed the bottle of wine and two glasses in his hands and yelled, _"No._ Merlin, Harry, not again."

"What?" Hary said, snickering at Draco's reaction, laying next to him on the couch.

"No drinking. None of us is drinking tonight."

But Harry was already gulping down his own glass. "You're scared of _waking up next to me_ again?" Harry asked.

"No!" Draco hissed. "I-I just can't bear with the headache."

Harry poured another glass for himself, Draco watching him. "But don't you have like a drawer full of potions for that?" He asked, a cool grin on his face.

"Wh- How do you know about that?!" 

Harry actually laughed this time. "I was awake that night, y'know." 

Draco's jaw dropped in shock, then they both bursted into a laughter.

"And I'm supposed to be the Slytherin one." Draco sighed, rolling his eyes.

At first Harry wasn't able to convince Draco to drink a single glass. But two hours and many laughters later, they were both drunk, laying on top of each other, talking idly.

That was when Draco finally blurted out, "Harry, I've got..." He sighed, staring at the dark green eyes.

"...A question for you." He said as he laid back down, not able to stare that long into him.

"Let's hear it," Harry said, taking the last sip of the bottle.

"If you.." Draco sighed again, thinking of the easiest way to put it in words. "If you were able... _to leave,_ " He swallowed, "To another country.. A-and, know that you will most probably have an easier life there, w-would you go? But you'll be... Well, alone..?"

Harry thought for a few seconds, "An alone life isn't an easier one, Draco." He said like he didn't reconsider the circumstances. "People need people. Having someone to love you and support you isn't the same thing as having money..."

Draco didn't reply. Maybe he shouldn't have brought this up at all. At least not this way.

"But I never said you won't _have_ anyone to support you or love you. They will be still in your heart, just not... around you." He finally said.

"Then what is the point?" Harry said. "If they're not around you, why bother carrying them in your heart? Plus, if you left them in the first place, _were they really in your heart at all?"_

Draco escaped from Harry's body, sighing. _You're not helping at all,_ he wanted to say, but of course didn't. (He hoped he didn't.) He walked next to the window, then opened the thin door to Harry's balcony.

It had a nice view, except the buildings were closing it partly. The dark night sky reminded Draco of the nightmare he saw, so he quickly turned around to leave.

But Harry was standing in front of him.

"Why did you ask me that, Draco?" He asked, his face like he's seeing his worst dream coming true.

"To... hear your opinion?" Draco replied, head a bit dizzy.

"On something that _you're experiencing..?_ " Harry took a step closer.

Draco frowned, "No.."

Harry looked around and took a breath before saying, "I should be the last person you lie to."

"And why is that?" Draco said, folding his arms.

"Oh, you wanna know _why?_ "

"Yeah, tell me." 

"Because-" Harry sighed. "Because I'm the only person you trust with full confidence. You can deny it if you want, but I know you do." 

Draco's mouth closed, his eyes lost in the green ones in front of him. "I won't deny it." He whispered.

He then noticed how close their faces are. He wanted to push himself to Harry's lips, and he knew they were both drunk enough to do that, but as always, he tried to ignore the very thought. Instead, Harry unfolded Draco's arms and took one hand in both of his,

"Then tell me, what is it?" Harry softly asked, rubbing Draco's hand.

It was a perfect moment- everything was perfect, the way Harry looked at him, wanted to talk to him, and the way Draco admired Harry when he was so caring like this. Except, his anxiety was still reminding him of the black sky behind him, and how he could hear that voice again any moment. 

"I will tell you, but-" Draco shivered with fear this time, "Can we get inside first?"

Harry held him from his waist and they moved inside, back to the couch they were sitting on five minutes ago. They sat down, Harry's one hand on his back, the other on his thigh, eyes fixed on his mouth.

Draco sighed, meeting both of his hands on his lap, careful not to touch Harry's.

"Well.." He sighed again, anxiety rising.

"I'm listening?"

"Just give me a second." Draco looked up and suddenly remembered that he had the letter with him. "Oh, right.." He said to himself as he reached for his pocket and took the paper, charming it back to its normal size and handing it to Harry.

Harry moved the hand on Draco's thigh to hold the letter, reading quietly.

Draco observed Harry's reaction. But it was different from both his and Pansy's. None of the muscles in his face moved, he didn't say a single word, he didn't even look at Draco for a while.

But unlike him, Draco hadn't moved his eyes from Harry while he read. He just stared at his eyes, it was their moment to talk. And he could see the heartbreak in them.

Finally Harry looked at Draco. The expression on his face was the same exact one he had when Draco insulted his R.E.M tattoo on first sight. It was a chaotic mixture of disappointment and hopelessness.

Draco felt his own heart break, too. He expected Harry to yell at him, or get offended for telling him that he wanted to leave, or tell him to fuck off from his home and his life to whatever country he wanted to, or to hell, or worse. But Harry chose to look at it from a logical way, 

"This could be fake, you know." His eyes went back to the letter, examining it. "Do you even know this man? Have your father ever talked to you about it? I'll look him up at the Ministry for you-"

"Harry," Draco reached for his arm, "You don't need to do that. Just tell me.. Tell me if-" 

_If you want me to stay,_ he thought of saying. 

But none of them could say anything. Harry was completely lost now, sighing every few seconds, reading the letter again and again.

"When did you get it?" He finally asked, still not looking at Draco.

"Y-Yesterday morning, I think?" Draco replied, still not moving his eyes from him.

There was another silence, though both of them had so much to say. Draco was on the edge of a break down, he was ready for Harry to tell him something to break his heart, hoping it'd make it easier to leave.

Instead, Harry asked quietly, "What makes you want to leave?" His eyes rose up from the floor to meet Draco's.

"It's just... I want to stay, but.. There's this voice inside my head that keeps- telling me that.." He swallowed, "That if I stay, eventually everyone will leave me again, and I will have to deal with everything on my own again, and I will regret not leaving when I had the chance to."

Harry sighed. Another long pause. Then he spoke,

"Let's just look this man up first. If he isn't lying, then you can make your decision." He got up from the couch, his voice colder than ice.

"Harry, please!" Draco cried, holding his arm again so he couldn't leave. "Won't you say anything?"

"I already said what I needed to say, Draco." 

Harry was about to pull his strong arm away from Draco's touch, but Draco acted quicker, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and burying his face on the crook of his neck.

He couldn't hold them anymore when tears quietly slipped down his face. Harry felt the wetness on his neck, and wrapped one arm around Draco, another on his white-blond curls. 

"Hey, hey... We'll figure it out, okay?" 

Draco didn't say anything, just kept sobbing into Harry's body. Soon after he quickly pulled back, Harry asked him, "Do you, um... Want me to take you home?"

He looked up at the green eyes, wishing Harry could read his mind. He had too much to say. He didn't want to be taken home. He wanted to stay with Harry, right now, like this, forever. He didn't want to leave. His heart screamed at him not to, but his broken mind told him the exact opposite. He wanted to tell Harry all these, but instead he muttered, 

"Don't bother." Then, he removed his arms from him and apparated in seconds, without even waiting for what Harry had to say.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys... ik this chapter is very short and bad , i tried to fix it as much as i could and i also want to update on time so this is how it came out. but i promise things will get soo much better soon so pls stay tuned!!!!

Draco found himself on a dark, silent street he had never been before. Without worrying about being lost, he looked around, admiring the quiet and calmness of the road.

He walked idly, his vision blurry with tears. He kept his face down so he didn't look at the sky, worried that he could see it like the one in his nightmare. 

Suddenly he stopped. The fact that he was still drunk came to him, and without letting himself do another stupid thing, he apparated back home.

It was hard to believe for him but those thoughts he kept pushing back were now finding their way back inside his head. He knew he wasn't able to stop them, he knew it took too long to do that. So he just gave himself to the comfort of numbness, the feeling he wasn't unfamiliar with.

To him, the line between wrong and right was blurred. He couldn't think of what to do or how to react, he was lost in emptiness again.

Perhaps he needed a break. A break from everything- work, feelings, people, even Harry.

And during the next few days, he actually did take a break from Harry. 

Harry didn't owl him nor visit him for a while, and Draco didn't bother to break the unusual silence between them. 

He knew that what Harry was trying to do was to give Draco some time to think. But he wasn't able to think or decide, and that stressed him twice as much.

But then, he remembered what Pansy said, _This guy clearly has no rush to hear your answer._ He knew that he did have time, though his mind kept telling him to hurry up.

When Harry got inside the cafe through the glass door after five long days, he looked so worn out that Draco thought he was ill.

He put down the tray of croissants he freshly baked, and without even asking him, prepared a strong cup of coffee with his wand for Harry who looked in need for one.

He came closer to where Draco stood, staring at him blankly.

Draco turned around to face Harry, the coffee he prepared flying next to him. Under his green eyes the circles were even darker, making it obvious that he didn't get much sleep. And the blank face he had on was only one of the signs that showed how he wasn't just tired, he was _unhappy._

Under the sad face, his neck was bare from the dark blue shirt he wore , and the black ink was visible. 

Draco stared at it but before his mind could get lost in memories, he noticed that Harry was watching him too.

"Hi." Harry said, voice tired like his body.

"Hi," Draco replied with a brighter voice. "Um- I'll be with you in a moment." He pointed behind where the foods stood.

"Okay." Harry murmured, moving to his usual corner.

Soon enough Draco was next to him, holding a smaller tray with a plate full of croissants and chocolate cookies with a mug of hot coffee next to them.

As he sat down in front of him, the only witch in the cafe put her books into her bag and left the place, leaving them alone.

Draco looked at Harry who was holding his mug with both hands now, his eyes fixed on the floor. 

The silence was remained, both of them seemed to be too lost in their thoughts to talk. 

But Draco wanted a nice conversation between them. Like the ones that they'd have when Harry sneaked out "to grab some coffee for the guys" when in fact he just wanted to see Draco, or when he visited him before he went to the Ministry, in the early morning hours.

Or like the ones they'd have when Harry came right when Draco left work and walked him to the library through the calm streets, or when they got Firewhiskey and went to the cliff and cuddled.

But none of them seemed to have anything to say now, and though they both felt it, they just couldn't find what was missing between them.

Draco finally understood that Harry didn't seem to talk unless he did, so he spoke,

"I baked these just now," His voice sounded soft, eyes pointing at the plate of croissants, "Take a bite?" 

Harry didn't look up. "I'm not really hungry." His face still had no expression.

Draco took one of the croissants and split it gently in half, then held it close to Harry's lips.

Harry looked up, not saying a word.

"Open your mouth." 

Harry, understanding that Draco had no intention to give up, opened his mouth slowly and moved his head closer to reach the food but next moment, Draco shoved the whole piece inside his mouth.

Harry had to take a sip from his coffee to swallow it.

Draco expected some reaction from him, but he chewed silently, still no expression on his face except what Draco thought was a tiny curl on his lips.

Soon after he swallowed, Draco asked,  
"What's on your mind?" Though it sounded more like a whisper.

Harry took another sip before replying, "Many, many things."

Draco didn't know what to say.

Harry continued like he understood that, "I've been busy with some new stupid case. Y'know, it's stressing."

Draco nodded, "I understand."

So Harry started talking about his new case and how fucked up it was. Draco loved when Harry talked about the things he faced on the daily, because it gave him a chance to observe his face without feeling stupid.

And when Harry smiled, Draco felt something inside him- not like _butterflies_ , rather like a few blocks of a building change their places.

Then, he understood it. He never had to think too much all along: _This_ was what he wanted. No matter what happened, he didn't want to leave Harry or the life he created here. The idea of going away and starting fresh didn't sound appealing at all anymore.

The house or the money or the air of another country weren't any better than what he had here: Love.

But this wasn't how he wanted Harry. He knew that one couldn't be too strong all the time, but still, he didn't want to see him sad and ruined like this. He got too used to the Harry that smiled all the time around Draco.

When he left, it had been already three hours. He wanted to stay longer, telling Draco _What will you do on your own here anyway?_ but Draco, after finding out that it was his only day off that week, insisted that he should _Go home and get some sleep for fuck's sake!_ And he made sure to give him another plate full of baked goods before he left.

The next few days their owling was back to normal, but Harry was feeling the same. Draco could feel it through the words he wrote, and he wasn't able to stop himself from worrying for him.

He had forgotten about the whole France thing now, and they both never talked about it in their letters anyway. So Draco dedicated his whole energy to make Harry happy and relaxed.

Though, he knew that it wasn't enough to send him boxes of cookies and coffee next to his comforting letters. He easily assumed that they only gave him temporary benefits.

One night, he laid in bed, closed his eyes and imagined Harry, trying to find the best thing he could do to help him.

Harry did literally everything and more when Draco was in the same state of mind, and now it was Draco's turn to return the favor.

While thinking back of each time Harry helped him get through stuff, he finally found the solution. 

His mind reminded him back to that time when he touched the tattoo on Harry's neck and it turned from black to golden, glowing so bright like the sun.

There was no reason for Draco to not get the same tattoo, and comfort Harry the same way he comforted him- through his sweetest dreams.

He got up from the bed immediately, taking an envelope from one of his drawers and sitting down to write in the quickest way he could,

_To: Hermione Granger,_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we stan dramione FRIENDSHIP😌🤝 also... the end is near 🥺💔

Draco knocked twice on the wooden door, eager for it to open. Soon, the bushy brown haired woman was in front of him, smiling.

"Come in," She said cheerfully.

Draco wondered how could she be so happy when her best friend was feeling the exact opposite as he stepped inside the flat.

He had owled Hermione the day before, asking about Harry's mood, the tattoo and if he could get one too. She simply told him that it would be better to talk face to face, since she had so much to explain.

And now, he was here, inside the flat she shared with Ron. The place was basic yet cute; not too big, but warm and welcoming. Though, Draco hadn't much time or patience to observe more, so he turned around to face Hermione who was pouring tea for both of them.

"You..." He couldn't decide how to begin. "Said you were going to explain a few things..?" He said, unsure.

"Definitely." Hermione said as she put their cups down on the table and sat down, then looked at Draco to do the same.

Draco sat down nervously, holding the cup of tea between his palms, waiting for Hermione to talk.

But instead of talking, Hermione took one glance at Draco's face and bursted into a laughter. 

"What's so funny?" Draco asked, rolling his eyes.

Hermione took a breath and put her hair behind her ear before talking, "It's just..The look on your face is the same one Harry had when he saw you that night."

Draco tilted his head, "What night..?" 

Hermione took a sip from her tea before answering, "The night he first saw you in his dreams. He came here and, he was really worried, you know."

There was silence as he tried to understand what she said. Hermione smiled at him and then continued,

"He kept asking me what to do to help you-from afar. I did a little research and suggested the tattoo." She suddenly stopped, smiling like she remembered a memory.

"And?" Draco asked, impatient to hear more.

Hermione was still smiling when she continued, "He didn't even think twice, not even when I told him about the bond it creates and it-"

_"A bond?!_ Draco almost shouted.

"Yeah, well, more like a one-sided bond," 

Hermione sighed when she saw the expression of shock and confusion on Draco's pale face- she then acknowledged that Harry probably never told him about it.

"When he used the tattoo, he was able to feel _your_ emotions, Draco." She explained in a calm voice, trying to hide her excitement.

Draco blinked, trying to believe what he just heard. "W-What do you mean 'my' emotions?"

Hermione sighed, no more trying to hide the thrill in her voice, "What I mean is , when you use the tattoo on a person, you get the ability to know and feel what they feel- just like a bond, but they can't feel or know about yours."

Draco had a million questions coming to his head, but he could ask only one, "They can sense it... all the time?"

"Indeed. But in time, the intensity starts to lessen, and to bring that back, you have to keep using the tattoo at least once in a while."

Draco could feel the pieces come together- Harry stopped visiting him after he told him about the tattoo that night, and before he started working, he visited him again- just to make sure that he was doing okay.

Draco felt something inside him lurch , but he ignored it and asked, "And when I get the tattoo- will I be able to feel him the same way he felt me?"

Hermione replied with a sweeter tone, "Yes, and you can visit him, too. Which will create a bond between you and him, thus you both will be able to feel each other's emotions."

Draco's head fell down to see the cup between his hands gone cold, and he gave himself some time to let all of what he heard sink in.

"Why..?" He found himself murmuring, as quiet as a whisper, "Why did he.."

But Hermione heard him. _"Why?!"_ She yelled, surprised and fierce. "Why did he do that? _Are you blind, Draco?_ " She scolded.

Draco didn't reply to that, and when he looked up to face Hermione, he saw the fury in her eyes.

"Don't you see how _obsessed_ he is with you? All he talks of is you! He was _ruined_ when you told him you might go to France- he's still upset about it! He even asked for a break from the Ministry!" 

Draco's eyes widened in shock, he wanted to explain but it was too much for him to take.

"But- But I-" 

How could he demand himself now? All this time Harry was acting way too good for him, but the self-hatred in front of his eyes was like a curtain; made it too hard to see that all along.

Right when he thought he'd calmed down and collected himself, he heard Hermione say those words.

_"He's so bloody in love with you, Draco Malfoy."_

She stopped, got up from her seat and walked around the kitchen, one hand on her side, another on her forehead. Then, she spoke again, "Even in their best days, he wasn't this good to Ginny, did you know that? And if you keep being the reason behind his tears, I swear I wouldn't hesitate to curse you this time."

But Draco had stopped listening from the moment he heard 'in love with you'. He looked up at Hermione, looking for a word to say, but there was nothing other than silence between them.

A few minutes later, Hermione seemed to calm down as she brought the stuff she'll use to give Draco the tattoo.

She told Draco to sit on the couch and took a potion from one of the cupboards. After making sure Draco drank the whole thing, she asked what place did he want the tattoo.

"Same place as Harry's," Draco replied, unbuttoning the top of his white shirt, pointing on his neck.

Hermione took her wand and tapped it lightly there, making a wave of white glow flow through the area as she loudly spoke a few words Draco surprisingly never heard of. Then, she dipped a cloth in a large pot that had a gray liquid inside it. She squeezed it tightly on top of the pot before rubbing it gently on Draco's neck; making him shiver with its cold.

A few minutes later, she announced, "Done."

Draco got up, taking the small mirror Hermione handed him and took a look at his neck- the letters R.E.M stood there elegantly, the fresh dark ink glowing from how wet it is.

"If it glows and changes into golden when Harry touches it, it means it worked."

Draco hummed and thanked her before asking, "But- how will I exactly do it? I mean, how will I get in his dreams?"

Hermione gave him a long, detailed lecture on how to do that succesfully, then brought a wide and thick book from her room and marked a page on it with her wand for Draco to read.

"In case you forget anything, check this page out," She pointed on a paragraph with her fingers, "Especially here, you'll find most of your answers. Or if you're still confused, you can owl me." 

Draco remained silent, his mind presenting him anxious thoughts. They kept telling him how it wouldn't work, or that he would screw it up easily, or that he rarely fell asleep most nights-

"Draco?" Hermione's honeyed voice was back now, and it brought back Draco's attention. "What's wrong?"

Draco didn't look up at her and swallowed before asking, "What if I can't?"

She smiled, just like the time she did when she opened the door for him, "You will."

"How can you be so sure?" Draco asked, his voice low.

"Because you love him too, don't you?"


	10. Chapter 10

A hot pain in his head flashed as he apparated back home and threw himself face first on his bed. He squeezed the sheets, desperately hoping it to make the sharp ache dissappear.

_Can't you see how obsessed he is with you? He's so in love with you, Draco Malfoy._

The words kept looping inside his head, getting louder each time, hurting him more and more with each letter.  
It was supposed to feel good but why didn't it? Harry was hurting because of him, he stopped going to work because of him, he was , _ruined_ because of him, so how could he expect it to feel good?

He just laid there, not daring to lift his head up from the position he put his body in, imagining. Thinking of each time Harry looked at him. Each time Harry held him, cuddled him, comforted him. How the Harry in his dreams and the one in the reality are the same.

After what seemed like an hour, he got up, took his wand and casted a _Tempus_ to check the time, 3:06 p.m. The fact that he had to wait at least until midnight to perform the magic hit him, and he buried his face one more time in the bed.

When he finally got up, it was only because he felt the sudden heat of the approaching summer spread on his body. Even his baggy clothes felt like suffocating him, so he quickly got rid of them, changing into a thin t-shirt and shorts.

Before he laid back onto his bed, he noticed the strange silence of the flat. He left his room, wandered around the empty rooms to see if they really were empty, then feeling the weight of loneliness settling in his chest.

So he silently returned to his room. Right when he entered, he caught sight of his own reflection, different from the last time he saw it. The letters R.E.M looked so graceful, but not as good as they do on Harry's neck, he thought.

He turned around to see the book Hermione gave him lay alone on top of the bed. He took it and sat down on the chair in front of his desk, then started slowly and carefully reading the pages she marked for him.

Though, his mind didn't let him focus. He was already worried about the whole thing, and when he stumbled across a paragraph titled _Risks & Dangers of The Bond _ , that didn't help soothe him at all.

When he was finished reading almost more than the half of the thick book, the afternoon sun was glowing through his room, and the sky had turned into a darker blue.

He casted another _Tempus_ and when the numbers showed 7:19 p.m. he couldn't help the lurch in his stomach and his rapid heartbeats.

Draco put the book down, looking around his room. He was still alone, but the flat didn't feel silent anymore. Wherever he looked, there was a piece reminding him of Harry, like all the objects he had were yelling his name. _Harry, Harry, Harry,_ shouted the book, the desk and the bed and the windows and the goddamn wand. They all screamed his name.

Draco shook his head and took a deep breath, leaving the room without letting himself lose the last piece of steadiness left in him. 

He got in the bathroom and turned the cold water on, quickly undressing himself and got in.

The water was so cold he felt like huge ice cubes were being thrown at his head, but he didn't mind. He sinked down on the floor, pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, then buried his head down.

As the icy water fell on his neck, flowing through his bare back, it was the voices inside his head that were talking now. At first, it was Hermione, then it turned to Harry, and then Pansy and Maira and Norman, then back at Hermione and Harry, and then it was only Harry.

He just couldn't find a way to keep himself distracted from them, even after he left the shower with pain and got dressed.

-

Nighttime finally came, making Draco feel both relieved and stressed at the same time. He murmured _Tempus_ and hoped it was the last time he did that today, eyes fixed on the numbers that said 1:33 a.m. 

He laid on the bed, face staring at the ceiling, and finally, closed his eyes.

_Everything felt too bright._

_He forced his eyes open, slowly getting up from the ground he laid on. He made it, he was at the same place he'd see Harry in._

_Head dizzy, Draco looked around, his eyes getting used to the brightness of the place. In the distance, he could see a familiar body, sitting down the exact way he did in the shower just a couple hours ago, for a moment he thought it was his own self._

_But as he got closer, the black hair proved him wrong. It was Harry, who probably wasn't aware of the fact that Draco was here in the dream with him._

_Harry lifted his head up, looking at the ground for a moment. And then, he turned his face to see Draco standing next to him, breathing like he hadn't for long minutes._

_Draco wanted to smile, but couldn't. He got closer to Harry, who was still looking at him, then sat down next to him._

_He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but couldn't. Instead, he put an arm around Harry, pushing their bodies closer._

_"What are you doing here.." Harry almost whispered, then his mouth curled into a smile as he saw the golden tattoo glowing on Draco's neck._

_Draco smiled now, but it fell down as he took a breath and spoke, "Harry.. I'm sorry.."_

_Harry's smile fell too, like he remembered a fact. "Doesn't matter, Draco. You should do whatever makes you happy. Even if it hurts me.." He murmured and turned his eyes back to the ground, not facing Draco anymore._

_"N-No... Harry, I-"_

_"It ruins me, Draco. The thought of seeing you only in my dreams ruins me."_

_Draco then understood what he meant and took a sharp breath, his eyes filled with tears as he pulled himself even closer to Harry's body. He cupped his jaw with one hand, gently turning his head so they face each other, and then whispered with a broken smile,_

_"No one's going anywhere."_

_Harry's eyes snapped open, brows knitted in confusion, "...You're staying?"_

_Draco nodded, his heartbeats were so fast and their faces were so close. "I can never leave you," He whispered._

_He saw Harry smile, then closed his eyes and finally, finally pushed himself to make his lips meet Harry's. But something was wrong- Harry's lips were light, so light like it was only air._

Draco opened his eyes. He was back at his bed, alone and gasping for breath.

The sadness of the fact that he woke up without being able to taste Harry washed over him, and he got up, whining at the pain burning his back.

He looked around to see the window showing the morning sky. He couldn't believe it was morning already.

But then, Draco felt something really, really bizarre.

It was happiness. Joy was flowing in his blood, though, somehow, he was still sad.

Then, he understood.

He wasn't the one feeling happy, it was Harry. Inside him, it was like his feelings were parted in two; one side that belonged to his own, and the other belonged to Harry's.

Harry's side felt relieved and happy. Like he finally got something he had been waiting for a long time. Just from this fact, Draco's side turned from the exact opposite to the exact same as Harry's, and soon, all he felt was pure bliss. The one he hadn't felt in a long time.

He jumped from the bed, casting any charm that crossed his mind to be fresh and clean and good looking. He got dressed as quickly as he could, then apparated himself to Harry's front door.

Like he was waiting for this -which, he probably was- Harry opened the door, a big smile on his face and then hugged Draco and suddenly everything started turning.

-

The first thing Draco noticed was the smell of the grass.

He escaped from Harry's body, to look around and saw where they landed. Whatever Harry did to make them come here, it was definitely not Apparation, because this place seemed so out of this world.

At first, Draco thought he was staring at a picture. The place they were in was too beautiful to be real. But when he turned around, he knew that he really was here.

There were no buildings. Not even a single block. It was all grass, flowers, water and clouds. And mountains that looked too big though they were far, far away. Many different shades of green were decorating the grass, with pink and magenta flowers around. A weird shaped lake was between the grass, and it showed the reflection of white-cotton-candy-like clouds that were almost on the ground.

When Draco's eyes finally looked back at Harry, he was smiling at him, and they both shared the same happiness inside.

Draco giggled as Harry wrapped one hand around his waist and put the other on his cheek. Draco's heartbeats were even faster when Harry's fingers traced down his neck and stopped before touching the tattoo.

It was a soft, smooth touch but Draco could feel it glow. So bright that the sun would be ashamed. 

They both smiled at it, and just like Draco did once, Harry laid his head down and kissed the golden letters.

Draco could feel himself melting.

Before he could get himself together, Harry grabbed his hand and walked him down the grass to the tiny cottage Draco hadn't noticed when he looked around.

But before they entered, he felt the need to ask, "Harry, where are we?"

This beautiful cottage was right next to another small, weird shaped lake. And as they got inside, Draco noticed that there was only two little windows and a bed but somehow it felt like home to him anyway.

They sat down on the bed, hands still together.

"This is where I first saw you in my dreams. That's why it means a lot to me."

A warm smile spread on Draco's lips. Through the open door, the lake and flowers were visible, and the silence of the place made a feeling of relaxation flow through the bond.

Draco suddenly felt responsible to say something now. Something he had been thinking for such a long time. Now or never, he thought, and let the words slip out of his mouth,

"I love you, Harry."

Harry, who was looking at him so beautifully that Draco forgot to brethe, repeated the words,

"I love you."

And finally, their lips connected. Kissing Harry felt like the very first breath after being underwater, and unsurprisingly, tasted like a dream. Draco wrapped both arms around his neck and kissed him hard, smiling uncontrollably into the kiss.Harry moved his hands under Draco's shirt, feeling his skin burn to his touch as they both kept kissing hungrily.

Finally they broke, both of them breathless as Harry ran a hand on Draco's hair.

"You can open your eyes now," Harry whispered, holding Draco even closer.

But Draco shook his head no, smiling.

"Why not?" Harry asked, snickering.

Draco put a short kiss on Harry's smiling lips, 

"Because I don't wanna wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!  
> i really hope you liked it.   
> <3


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